you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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