I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
