dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
