Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
