he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
