So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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