DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I believe in your delicious
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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