just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
