I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
