So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
