garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
