Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
