sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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