i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
