I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
