she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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