Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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