I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
