Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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