I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
