but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
