1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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