The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
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i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
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I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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