My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
