Well apparently he's into motor boating.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on