Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.