Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
