My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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