I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
