I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
