I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
