When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
