Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
