Just fell off a train. Bad.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
