That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
