just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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