I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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