Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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