You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
