i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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