This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
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She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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