all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
