your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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