Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
