How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
