Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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