I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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