Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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