and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
you never un-have a 4some
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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