so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
