for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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