your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
