My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
