I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
