the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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