I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you had me at cake vodka
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
