i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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