You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
