the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
