I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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