i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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